I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
