You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
