I want to walk on stilts...naked
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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