Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
