We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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