p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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