dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
