his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My ass is underappreciated
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
