I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
