The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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