We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize