porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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