Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize