It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
