Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
