i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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