Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize