Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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