i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
