i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
