She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize