There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
