her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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