Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
