I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
