yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
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