if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
