it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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