What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
