we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
