as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
