Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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