you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
