I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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