I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize