I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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