Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
