i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
