Whod you bang
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
