there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize