I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you win again, gameday.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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