I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Jerry, you need to find god
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
