So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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