my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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