and you said cock pushups were impossible
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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