You're completely useless in the revolution.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Randomize