did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
