wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
