Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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