do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
