I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
