What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
