I'm really into asian looking animals
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
