ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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