I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Damn victory sex feels great
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize