I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize