Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
