But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I need to stop coming to work sober
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
