I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
