perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
