Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize