You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
