I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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