He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
