I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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