just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I am one with the molecules
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
