Christians are straight up FREAKS
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i don't like sucking hair
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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