Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
