Even the bartender felt bad for me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Idk if I want to put a bra on
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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