Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
