Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
