Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
