This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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