Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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