you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
