When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
