I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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